Preface: This article is probably four years old at the time I am moving it from my journal blog to the main ministry site. I’ve been out of nursing school for at least three years. I just wanted to present a reference to give you a time frame.
As many of you know, I’m going through a course in Nursing School. I’m really enjoying it because of all the things that you wouldn’t think it is helping me to understand, it is helping me to understand people and more importantly, how wonderful Yahweh is in his creative process. The anatomical and physiological complexity that Yahweh made can in no way be thought of as having any way been a creative process using evolution. I have to laugh when I hear my anatomy teacher using evolution on the same day that he uses “how we have been created,” and not even notice that he’s a living and walking hypocrite. Either you believe in evolution, a process of mistakes and dumb luck; or you believe in a divine creator who wrote DNA code and made it so that every cell is like a complex city in the way that it is structured and how it operates.
Now, seeing that my teacher is a walking contradiction could cause me to sit him down, call him an idiot and explain to him how complexity cannot just happen. However, I can take another approach and just remark at how complexity causes “me” to think that there had to be a plan, and one who implemented the plan. I could be brutally honest, or I could throw things my teacher’s way so that his mind can be primed to be talked to by the Ruach Ha Kodesh, who is really the only one who can talk to a man’s heart and not lose an argument.
We have a person in our class who is brutally honest. This person tends to know everything that there is to know about everything and they’re not afraid to proclaim it before the whole class. In most people, there is a filter that causes us to do a few things before we talk. This filter causes us to wonder if what we are going to say is wise. It causes us to wonder if we are going to be offensive to other people and it is the filter that tells us that “perhaps this is not the right time to bring this up, or if I should bring it up at all.” People who lack this filter seem to be drawn to me for some reason. Perhaps it is some sort of test to see if I can endure when inundated with hypocrisy, or perhaps it is a strengthening tool to make sure that my filter is intact and that I use it before I make an ass out of myself. When all is said and done, only Yahweh knows why he allows these sort of people to enter my personal domain.
There is a caveat in all of this. Yahweh has been gracious to bless me with a wife and children who possess this filter. They also know how to implement this filter and they will generally care about the other person before they care about themselves. I too am blessed in that my mom, sister and several relatives (not all however) possess the filter and use it wisely. I’m also thankful that my three step-daughters, who are endowed with this filter, are passing the filter manual to their children, all who are growing more and more in Yeshua in a daily basis.
The nice thing about being around people with the filter (and most do have it by the way and use it effectively) is that when someone enters our realm, we all tend to be disgusted by the filter-less people and it causes us to band together in a united front to confront the brutally honest person. However, this united front is often seen by the filter deficient person as an attack by a group of mean people. Guilt transference is often a sword weilded well by filter deficient people. And, isn’t it nice of me to call them filter deficient, rather than the titles of narcissists or sociopaths that they really are?
Getting back to the pain in the rectum that we have in class, it never ceases to amaze me how people like this person, with major filter deficit, always seem to have to cover for themselves because of filter absence. I truly think that people lacking the filter actually suffer from a mild form of Turrets’s Syndrome. I mean, let’s look at it, shall we? With Turrets’s Syndrome the people truly cannot help themselves from yelling out obscenities and inappropriate words and/or sentences. People with filter deficit do the same thing, but often camouflage themselves to imply impunity. I saw this a lot when I lived in North Carolina where people have turned it into an art-form, so to speak. Something like this would occur during a conversation, “she’s an adulteress, a whore and will sleep with anything with two legs, but she makes a wonderful apple pie, bless her heart.” See how it is character assassination with frosting and a cherry on top?
This happens a lot in churches too. A group of women will get together and totally dress down another woman, or a man that they really despise and they’ll end the conversation with, “so that is why we really need to pray for him or her.” Men aren’t immune from it either, however they tend to me more one-on-one and things are resolved quickly.
I have to admit that I love to react with women who are brutally honest. They like to offer opinions and some will even be brazen enough to tell you how to run your life. This woman at school likes to tell people the “correct” way to run their lives. On one occasion she was quick to offer advice to me on how to conduct my life. I quickly reminded her that I was married, and when it comes to changing my character or telling me what I might be doing wrong, there is only one woman who has the right to do that, and that is my wife and she is the only one whom I allow that in my life (our life). She quickly turned around, mumbled something and didn’t turn back toward our table again. The next school day she moved up a table and informed people that still listened to her that she made a list of four people that our class would be better without, inferring it was me and the guy who shared my table. By the way, he welcomed this change and conferred with me that he’s probable on the “list of four” undesirables. We Jews have been on lists for thousands of years, and her list is trivial and trite.
One thing that this sort of person does is they present a persecution complex when things start to get rough and people start to call them out for who they are. So, when the comment, “people are starting to treat me like I did something wrong and I don’t know why,” to the teacher during our class time, this did not surprise me. It is a common worldly tactic to scorch the earth and then blame others. You know, I must be getting older because I can pretty well predict what psychotic people are going to do before they do it. I think it’s because I’m a student of history and all of the villains in history have been sort of psychotic in one way or another, and their boss (Satan) is the ultimate psychotic. Study the ways of psychotics and you will get through life much easier because you can stay, for the most part, a step or two ahead of them.
The queen mother of all comments came the other day when this woman approached me in the break-room. We were all giving presentations on disease conditions and we were all doing peer review. The forms that we filled out were handed into the instructor and we weren’t supposed to discuss our conclusions with anyone else. So, this gem of a human being walks up to me and says, “I hope you don’t get mad at me concerning the review that I gave to your presentation, but I was told to review everyone honestly.” I just looked at her like I couldn’t believe that she had said that, although it didn’t really take me by surprise. My reply was that I was getting an A+ in the class and that a bad review on a peer paper wouldn’t affect it much. I also told her that the reviews were going to be graded and that any bad thing on her review of my presentation would reflect on her grade, not mine. She gave me that “whatever” look and I walked away.
You see, when people are brutally honest like that, the one thing that really gets their goad is when you act like you don’t really care. If you make their comment seem trite and insignificant it heaps hot coals on their heads. Well, enough of my life and the little annoyances in my life. I did want to find out why people act like they have to be brutally honest and I found a good article about it. I’d like to present it to you and I’ll give the source at the end of the article. Here it is:
BEING BRUTALLY HONEST,
Few people can successfully sail through life without receiving a single piece of constructive criticism or brutal honesty. Some people can become so driven to be brutally honest, however, that they lose perspective on when such advice is not strictly necessary or helpful. Some brutal honesty delivered by a trusted friend or mentor can be the push a person needs to effect a positive change, but some people enjoy being brutally honest simply for the brutality.
One reason a person may become brutally honest is upbringing. He or she may be the product of a hypercritical set of parents who used harsh criticism as a motivational tool. There may not have been many examples of discretion or tact when it came to expressing opinions of others. A parent or sibling may have looked at a piece of artwork and pointed out all of the flaws instead of praising the child for his or creativity or originality. This negative, critical programming from childhood may survive into adulthood as a brutally honest demeanor.
Some people become brutally honest as a defense mechanism to deflect criticism of their own deficiencies or shortcomings. By putting on a good offense through brutal honesty, they minimize the risk of others judging them equally as harshly. These people often seek out careers as professional critics or judges, strongly believing the only way to help professionals to improve is to be brutally honest. Harsh criticism is seen as a necessary evil, not a lack of tact.
For others, being brutally honest signifies a lack of emotional growth. Many people would love to be brutally honest more often, but a sense of propriety keeps them from overstepping their bounds. Some people who pride themselves on their brutal honesty, however, have a poorly developed social filter when it comes to tact and politeness. They aren’t always aware that their critical comments could be personally hurtful or socially embarrassing. They may feel justified by publicly saying what others were thinking privately, but they simply lack the sense of propriety which should prevent such incidents.
Some famous celebrities known for their brutal honesty, such as the acerbic British judge Simon Cowell on American Idol, may do it to prevent future disappointment in an industry rife with even harsher critics. Some may be brutally honest because they believe the recipient won’t take criticism seriously unless provoked or shocked. There may even be some people who are brutally honest simply for the sake of watching other people suffer emotional blows from harsh criticism, whether or not the critique has any actual basis in fact. [Source: http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wisegeek.org%2Fwhy-are-some-people-so-brutally-honest.htm&h=nAQGKZXOt